The Wars of Canaan

So the anger of the LORD burned against Israel, and He said, "Because this nation has transgressed My covenant which I commanded their fathers and has not listened to My voice, I also will no longer drive out before them any of the nations which Joshua left when he died, in order to test Israel by them, whether they will keep the way of the LORD to walk in it as their fathers did, or not." So the LORD allowed those nations to remain, not driving them out quickly; and He did not give them into the hand of Joshua. Now these are the nations which the LORD left, to test Israel by them (that is, all who had not experienced any of the wars of Canaan; only in order that the generations of the sons of Israel might be taught war, those who had not experienced it formerly). ~ Judges 2:20-3:2

Today Inscrutable Girl called my cell phone while I was pitching sodas in Seaford, ostensibly to inform me that one of my favorite clients at my old job died this week and the funeral is Tuesday. After that bit of bad news, we talked for about twenty minutes, playing catch-up. Eventually she asked if there was some way she could contact me that wouldn’t “cause controversy,” which being interpreted means, “without your wife knowing.”

Of course there are ways. There are always ways to be secretive and live out miserably long days and sleepless nights filled with lying and tortured guilt.

I was having a bad day at work anyway. Her call came around 11ish and all morning I had been thinking and praying about a situation at church, a major situation that is being downplayed and not being faced head-on. All morning this Scripture was on my lips, both for myself and for the church:

Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. ~ Psalm 51:6

The temptation is there. The temptation may always be there, because I may always have strong feelings for her. Even on the phone, I felt torn between telling her not to call again and trying to get together for lunch. The worst kind of misery is to love someone you can never be with: that kind of pain is beyond human endurance. In time it just splinters you.

I cannot fall headlong again into that sort of agony. And more important, the timing of the thing: that I was alone, feeling sad, feeling overwhelmed, hungry, tired, grieved, angry--and then the phone rang.

I came home and told Jessica about what had happened, because quick confession takes the teeth out of temptation. (Keeping it secret amplifies it.)

People pray for quick and total deliverance, but God doesn’t always grant it. He didn’t relieve Paul of his thorn, whatever it was. We need things to remind us of why we need a Savior, the life of Another. And you just cannot learn warfare in the absence of an enemy.

The wars of Canaan are being waged.

From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force. ~ Matthew 11:12