Monday, June 25, 2007, 7:45 P.M.

Scattered thoughts on this early summer evening.

Time gets away so quickly. I feel like I should update this journal more often, since a lot of stuff is going on in my life and I’ll forget the journey if I don’t record it somehow. I’m such a slave of time. I hate feeling like everything in my life is governed by the rigid clock.

Yesterday morning the Lord expressed a prophetic utterance through me in the church service. That hasn’t happened in many years--probably because I haven’t been listening to God much. It’s a strange sensation. Before I speak I feel very nervous and my heart pounds as if it will burst from my chest. Afterwards, I tremble. And when it happens it’s very forceful, different from my normal manner of speaking.

A friend asked me later about the process and I wasn’t really sure how to answer him because I don’t know. It’s not something I understand. It just is, like faith itself.

The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit. (John 3:8)

It was good to discover that the gift is still present, though I feel its operation or function has very little to do with me. Hopefully God will use it even more. A danger of spiritual gifts is that Charismatic types sometimes mistake them for true spirituality, for living a life separated to God.

Another driver put in his notice today at work. That makes us short six drivers out of 17 routes, and makes everyone else have to shoulder the burden.

I felt melancholy for much of the day, as if I could cry. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was just Monday. I kept praying and asking God to speak to me, to help me through this stage of my life. Every moment in a believer’s life is holy: there is no mundane, no time when God is not present and active.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

Last Thursday and Friday, I was thinking about this:

He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. Proverbs 28:13

I had a slip Thursday evening--a site I stumbled on that proved to be a stumbling block. I may need to resolve to just stay off the computer when Jessica isn’t home.

Jonathan Daugherty is coming to Delaware in late October. I’m excited about it, though I hope to see breakthroughs in men’s lives (and my own) before then.