...Wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground...

A painful evening. Tonight I ran into Inscrutable Girl, and her mother, and her boyfriend, all of whom represent an agonizing couple of pages in the history of my life. At first I was near panic, and in fact I made fast tracks out of the WalMart where the two of us made the realization and quickly looked away to avoid the awkwardness of each other’s eyes.

But I felt her like hot lead in my soul.

I went outside and got in the car and began to pray. When I got home, I went into the back field and looked up at the stars, and shook with crying, and prayed some more.

Nothing is unknown to the God of all the universe. I told Him I love Him more than my family. I told Him I love Him more than Inscrutable Girl. I told Him nothing on earth will satisfy my love for Him. And I told Him I will always love Him. I am an alien and a stranger. He has a friend in the earth.

I had a beautiful, heart-rending, awful, intimate moment with God. And maybe that was His purpose this evening.

Last night I was missing my father quite a bit while looking at a couple of photos that hang on our bedroom wall. One is very iconic in terms of how I remember Dad, and I thought I’d post it here. It was taken at his ordination; he's the one playing the guitar. The character in the center of the photo is Wade Taylor, through whom the Lord made His calling apparent in my life.

Which leads to another prayer in the field awhile ago. I prayed that God would make me a burning bush, a heart aflame through whom He can call others to His purposes, for His glory. These are important times. There are no mistakes.