I can no longer doodle in church because my wife gets laughing so hard at my designs that she fears incontinence in her pregnant state. So now I crouch over secret notes, noted below in italics.
The Church needs a crisis of truth. [The world really doesn’t need to be prayed for at this point in Church History, contrary to what the Christian parrotheads say. Even Jesus had his limits when it came to the world. Jesus had His priorities right: John 17:9.]
Those who seek satisfaction outside of God and His will deserve to be punished by not finding it. [Not sure where this came from...de Caussade, mayhaps?]
*** “FUSSTRATION” *** [The speaker couldn’t say “frustrated;” I like “fusstration” better anyway. My greatest fusstration right now is determining how much to say, and when, and to whom.]
I go to church and my eyes are assaulted by a tall brunette, her T&A near bursting out of a tight black package and “fuck me” heels, delirious with new and unrestrained power that's blossomed along with her curves. Thank You God for the gift of astigmatism.[I took my glasses off. I’m SO spiritual.]
“God’s not after perfection, He’s after what we can do for Him.”[AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!]
Good-intentioned, mindless contradiction. Is this the Word?
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3 comments:
A lady we used to go to church with couldn't say the word frustration correctly either. She would say that she was "flustrated". I guess she was mix frustrated and flustered together or something.
Great blog. Your honesty is always refreshing.
I’m fusstrated, too. Charades. Just going through the motions.
Today, painful...yep...that pretty much sums it up.
Thank goodness there were only 2 new people today.
My abdominal muscles are sore from cringing so much.
Heh, maybe a good way to get in shape...nah.
Why am I embarrassed/reluctant to bring people to church?
Does it seem a little artificial, like charades?
Where did we begin feeling like we need to hide our dark side while in church?
I understand that no one wants to air dirty laundry, but can’t we be more real?
Yes. Dear God, thank you for astigmatism. At first glance, I thought, "oh, she looks pretty in black. I like her necklace." Then it occurred to me that the dress could have been three sizes bigger and at least a foot longer. Ah well, at least I didn't connect it with the removed glasses because then I would have been annoyed.
Fusstrated: fussing while prostrated?
Wait. That's not it.
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