Six months since I posted anything to this account. Maybe I was waiting for some of the frenzied personal hype to die down before writing here again. I don't know.
I've been working hard for Pepsi, and am trying to break into some part-time freelancing. Jessica and I are doing pretty well, expecting our fourth child.
A few weeks ago, I wrote to Jon Daugherty and thanked him for the work of his ministry. I may try to interview him eventually for some query ideas I have.
I'm leading a men's group at church now.
And finally, I'm still struggling against thoughts of the girl I loved. Nearly every day, sometimes all day long, I'm slogging through, wondering if the hurt will ever leave. Yeah, to some extent it's diminished. But it's still here, and sometimes it's frighteningly powerful.
The last two times I left the church--just today, in fact--I saw her car drive by and had to wonder if that could possibly be a coincidence, that kind of perfect or hellish timing. Today while walking into WaWa to get a cup of coffee I thought I saw her sitting in a black SUV, eating a hot dog. It wasn't her, but I'm sure I made whoever it was quite nervous as I slowed down and eyed her through my black sunglasses.
I can't understand why these feelings are still so strong.
Nevertheless, feelings are inconsequential at this point. There's no going back. I have destiny to fulfill.
Monday's her birthday.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
As a woman and a wife, it reallys saddens me that you still have feelings of sorts for the other woman even though you say you don't want the feelings. It just leaves a pit in my stomach for your wife, you, and your marriage. I guess I hate it b/c it makes me wonder if I put to much trust in my husband and I don't like thinking like that.
I know this is just my thought and doesn't really matter to you but I thought I'd share my outside perspective.
I read today that someone who's supposed to know of these things(forget who the "authority" was) said that it takes at least 14 months before a man begins to get over an emotional attatchment to a mistress.
So I thought...hmm...starting from when? But it doesn't really matter. Knowing a time line won't necessarily make it easier. But also, knowing that any acting on those feelings is getting further and further into the past is a big help.
Post a Comment