The men’s meeting last Wednesday was a beastly travesty.
A dude who’d never been there before showed up. As I tried to get the guys to talk about real-life stuff, this guy decided I needed a good straightening-out, and he spent about a half-hour in a frenzy, ranting at me personally (as if I was the only guy in the room with issues), pointing his finger and telling me to have faith and not give up, and that when I got to be his age (46) I’d be wise and wouldn’t have such struggles. He told me I don’t know my calling and purpose in life, and that’s why I’ve got problems. No one else around the table was able to get a word in during his speech, which was like a spinning top. I felt drained, dizzy, dry-mouthed and angry. I couldn’t wait to escape.
I listened patiently, but I wondered if he’d continue his spirit-filled tirade if I got up and went to the bathroom for awhile. Instead of testing the thing, I simply waited for him to take a breath so I could quickly dismiss the meeting.
It was a half-hour past the regular hour (9 P.M.) when that time came.
Essentially the guy railroaded the meeting and invalidated its stated purpose and function (which he’d never been there before to hear about).
Beyond that, several guys echoed his idea that they’re not going to share their hearts with others unless they feel “led” by the Holy Spirit. Well, touche. That’s one awesome cop-out for being a guarded asshole. Men love to share their strengths and victories while minimizing their faults and weaknesses.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do. The time I’m stealing to be at these meetings is at the cost of sleep: I got four hours that night before I had to be up on my feet and driving 53,000 pounds of freight on the busiest day of the Pepsi week. I had a headache all day Thursday: I felt hung over.
Frankly, if the meetings aren’t fulfilling their purpose, I’ll nix them. There are other options. I’m the type who’d be happy with talking to one or two guys interested in pursuing reality, rather than a group of guys who want to fold their arms and stay status quo.
The most satisfying conversation I had in the past week was with an atheist, a writer friend of mine. How am I supposed to get through life in church when I can only handle Christians for very short bursts of time before I’m going berserk with frustration and anger?
1 comment:
(again my opinion) When I did the group thing it seemed I got more out of it when it was just two or three who could/would honestly share their thoughts. I'm not saying that's the route you have to take but maybe you would like that better. I felt that I could be more open in the small group and not have to hide something for fear of someone running and telling someone else.
In your last post you mentioned "God uses our personal pain and weakness to display His strength in our lives" I'm just wondering if you'd share what strength you've seen from your personal pain/weakness? I'm just curious that's all, or nosey.
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