One of the things mentioned at the Every Man’s Battle seminar was the idea of “seamlessness.” The speaker mentioned it almost in passing, but when I heard it I knew the concept was great and vast and transforming--I had to own it, had to possess that knowledge and make it my reality.
“Seamlessness,” said the speaker, “is very simple to understand: it means you are the same person wherever you go.”
I sat stunned, struck between the eyes with point-blank truth.
Before that day I never considered the fact that I habitually portrayed a separate version of myself to people, depending on my surroundings. In church I acted one way, at work I acted another way. Who I was around my wife and children was different than when I was with friends or chatting with online acquaintances.
And of course when I was by myself, I was VERY different. D.L. Moody wrote, “Character is who you are in the dark.” In other words, you are your truest self when no one else can see you. That persona was the one I kept hidden away, even from my family and deepest loves. I was afraid people might glimpse my dysfunctional, addicted, perverted, raging, flawed, sick self. People saw only what I wanted them to see, and I tried to keep the rest under wraps.
Increasing seamlessness is essential to the pursuit of integrity. It shouldn’t matter where you encounter me--I should be the same person wherever I am, whoever I’m talking to, whatever I’m doing. And even though I knew the process would probably take a good while, I decided right then, “I won’t live a fragmented, compartmentalized existence any more. For better or for worse, people are going to be able to trust the fact that they just met Steve Hobbs: a man, not a mask.”
Strange how something so obvious can elude recognition for so long.
4 comments:
Right on.
If everyone were completely honest with themselves, they’d have to admit that we all wear or have worn a mask to some degree. BUT we don’t have to.
This is something I’ve been learning lately. I’ve come to the realization that there are some people out there who like the real Christine and if there are those who don’t, then at least I know I was honest. That’s all that matters anyway.
you would have to be a very brave person to not wear a mask at some time.
So many people out there just waiting to cut you up into ribbons... Or in less's case cos I know she cannot stand ribbons, cut one up into mincemeat.
I'm impressed with your site, very nice graphics!
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